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Trying to preserve that inner GIRL can be tough though. You’ll give in to those tidal waves of love you feel for this person you birthed. You’ll be consumed and obsessed to the Chicago Cubs Cactus League 2023 MLB Spring Training Diamond Shirt in addition I really love this point where I’d order every single possible thing under the sun that would help her sleep better/be clothed better/poop better/feed better. Stuff for the sake of stuff. You’ll talk to her in caricature baby voices. You’ll sing lullabies but not know the lyrics. I turned to the most immediate thing of getting back to GIRL. Finding myself through my clothes was my own biological breast crawl. Skin to skin. The layers that have always emoted and accompanied my life stages. The gesture in the volume of a sleeve. The feeling of a type of velvet. The joy of a shade of lilac. After half a year of tops that I could yank up easily to feed, nurture, and be a life vessel, suddenly I had to volte face. Give me those buttons! Complicated fastenings! Zippered dresses on the back! Or a heavily beaded Ganni dress that weighed more than Nico, adorned with flowering hearts. A blossoming metaphor for the new wave of love I felt for HER. My GIRL.
But the Chicago Cubs Cactus League 2023 MLB Spring Training Diamond Shirt in addition I really love this girl in me? Still there. Always present. And as those initial months of baby fog lifted, I could see her clearly and she roared louder than ever. It’s not about having it all… It’s about seeing and being yourself and giving in to it, even when you’re tethered to another human being. The work or vocation you still want to pursue. It’s the parties that you’ll still enjoy. It’s your idiosyncrasies that need to be preserved. It’s going out and pushing a buggy, but not having people look at you and think, “Oh, she’s a MUM,” and attach various tropes, stereotypes and clichés to that role. I’ve combatted those glances with combat boots. I’ve swatted them away with silver sequins and tinsel textures. And I’ll wear my trainers with knee high-socks, thanks very much. What I couldn’t verbalize, I said with what I wore.